Don’t Call it A Comeback.
Well, that took a while. Not quite sure I’m ready to get back in the fray, but I’m here nevertheless. Out at shows, seeing friends, checking out new (to me) spaces and experiencing old ones with a different frame of mind.
It’s not a matter of “getting out of my comfort zone”, though – I’ve been emotionally vibing out in the void since well before the pandemic. My original goal for 2020 was to meet new people, find a new tribe and reinvent myself; turns out during quarantine, I had the time and space to reinvent myself first.
Things have definitely changed around here. I have a new job that’s closer to home, with more money in the bank and a lot less interpersonal aggravation to deal with on the daily. I lost weight and dropped a size. My grandmother moved in a year ago, which has been incredibly difficult in many ways but rewarding in others. I underwent some intense spiritual/alchemical experiences last Summer, the effects of which are still shaking out and coalescing in the present time. The person I was in 2019 dissolved, and I’m still in the process of becoming someone else.
Yet some things still remain. The garden goes through its cycles and gives forth its harvests. My ties with close friends were strengthened by the challenges of distance, and we found ways of staying in touch. The circles of artists & musicians I appreciate and support have survived, and are now finally getting to play gigs, show their work and tour. Creativity and growth will always find a way through.
Last year I had one of those “landmark” birthdays, the kind that people freak out and obsess over, or try to pretend never happened. As I get older I tend to care less about how “old” I am and just appreciate the moments as I experience them. The last gig I saw before lockdown took place just before my birthday; in one of those wonderful serendipities of life, the same band headlined my first post-lockdown gig, on the lead singer’s birthday! I think this Summer I’ll try and keep that birthday spirit – that celebration of living and breathing air – going strong. Birthdays aren’t about whining & crying about getting older; they’re about being still alive and well.